Turn 5

Red Flag

2007-02-19T21:23:00.000-06:00

Turn 5
Season 2
Lap 2

Local Blogger Blames Failed Marriage on Track Closing
By Philip Gasstank
Chouteau Morning Tribune

TULSA- Local woman Cathy McWebsterberg has reportedly filed for divorce from her husband, auto-racing journalist Brian McWebsterberg. Brian McWebsterberg is best known for his website Salina Racing Blog (http://brianwebster.blogspot.com).

“I listened to his pointless stories about racing. I sacrificed time on the family computer so that he could type racing stories for his website. I even turned the other cheek when he sat in the living room watching his Salina racing DVDs for 15 hours straight,” Cathy McWebsterberg said, “but when he sat up in bed in the middle of the night and cried out for Randy Frailey… that was the last straw.”

Brian McWebsterberg blames his failed marriage on the closure of Salina Highbanks Speedway. Racing fans know him for his dedication to posting results of the races on his blog. However, it seems Brian McWebsterberg’s career in racing journalism has been cut short.

The McWebsterberg computer screen still bears a message posted by Track Owner Paula of Salina Highbanks Speedway:

The Track Will Not Be Open For The 2007 Season, I Have Decided To Put The Track Up For Sale.
Thank You Everyone For Being Part Of The Salina Highbanks Speedway.

“It feels like someone punched me in the stomach. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to sleep. I just want to watch Randy Frailey, Jeremy Ross, and the F-4 Phantoms tear up the track again,” Brian McWebsterberg said.

Brian McWebsterberg’s internet journalism career remains frozen in time, much like his computer screen, a frozen reminder of what will surely be an empty chasm in his life.

“I’m not sure if he’s aware I served him with divorce papers, because he’s so in shock over the race track closing, but whatever,” Cathy McWebsterberg said. “I told him it was me or the racing and he picked racing, and now he’s left with nothing. I’m totally cleaning him out in the divorce settlement.”

“I can’t believe this. My life is over,” Brian McWebsterberg mumbled from beneath a pile of blankets on his living room floor. Brian McWebsterberg smelled as though he had been without a shower for several days.

Goodspeed's Crystal Ball

2007-02-10T20:17:00.000-06:00

Turn 5
Volume 2
Lap 1

"Salina Highbanks 2007 Season Preview"
by Ed Goodspeed
Salina Evening Post

Ed Goodspeed’s drivers to watch out for in 2007:

#51 Cole Trickle- I know Cole, he always goes high. The former open wheeler made the transition to stock cars last year, but his progress slowed after a serious accident. It will be interesting to see how Trickle copes with the lasting effects of his injuries, especially since he has a hot temper.

#19 Russ Wheeler- He is arrogant, and he drives dirty. His dashing looks make him irresistible to the ladies. Look for the Hardee’s machine to make several appearances in victory lane, and listen for Wheeler to run his mouth about how great he is.

#9 Racer X- Race fans know little about this mysterious soldier of fortune. It seems he disappears just as quickly as he appears. The brief moments of brilliance this mysterious driver has displayed show that Racer X has plenty of upside.

#49 Brewster Baker- This grizzled veteran takes gambles sometimes, but he knows when to hold ‘em, and when to fold ‘em. Rumor has it he employs children on his pit crew. For Baker, this season is a race on the track and a race against the Oklahoma Department of Human Services before they throw the red flag on his racing season.

#6 Steve Grayson- Rumor has it his manager has put the team in a financial crunch, so Grayson must put his white Dodge Charger in the winner’s circle in order to pay off debt to the IRS. If he fails, it’s off to the Heartbreak Hotel (down at the end of Lonely Street). Despite the predicament, Grayson always has a song in his heart. Maybe it’s because he’s also putting it to Nancy Sinatra. Thank you, thank you very much.

#7 Stroker Ace- This guy is up for a race any time. Rain, sleet, snow, bureaucrats, and or even chicken suits can find a way to slow Stroker, right? Not so fast. Word has it Stroker has a couple of distractions in the pits. The first being his sponsor, Chicken Pit Owner Clyde Torkle, and the second being a hot blonde named Pembrook Feeney. No matter what happens this season for Ace, hilarity will surely ensue.

The Inagural Fivies

2006-10-23T23:10:00.000-05:00

The Salina Highbanks Speedway awards banquet is coming up. Point championship awards and rookie of the year awards will be presented, and several drivers will be recognized for their racing achievements. My hat goes off to all of them. Those award winning drivers have achieved something that no one will ever be able to take away from them. For the rest of their days on this earth, they will be recognized as 2006 Salina Highbanks Champions. However, several other people put forth great efforts this season, and did not receive any recognition. Turn 5 will change that. Turn 5 would like to recognize the people who given race fans laughs, tears, and pure joy this season. You may not have won a track championship, but you won a 2006 Fivie Award, and that has got to count for something.

"Uh-oh, better get Maaco" Award

This award goes to the driver whose car undergoes the most radical cosmetic transformation over the course of the racing season. This year, we honor a man who took a perfectly shiny, yellow Chevrolet Camaro, and turned it into a dirty speed machine with an unprecedented collection of large dents.

The Fivie goes to:
Steve Freeman, #7B Pure Stock

Sponsor of the Year

Now that Wal-Mart Inc. owns the speedway, Turn 5 is contractually obligated to recognize
Sam's Club
With a Fivie Award.

Manufacturer's Award

Toyota
Toyota 4 Life, baby.

"Turn 5 doesn't understand why your article didn't draw a bigger response" Award

Turn 5’s writers and editors take great care in researching every article published on the Turn 5 site. The arduous reporting process insures maximum enjoyment for readers. Every so often, a Turn 5 article is expected to debut as a “total winner,” yet receives a minimal reaction from the fans.

The Fivie goes to:
“The Ol’ Sugar Bear” Brian Scroggins, #86 Factory Stock
For some reason, the article depicting Sugar Bear having diabetes was a complete miss with race fans.

"Unless you'd like to climb off that four wheeler and explain the problem in a calm and civilized manner, why don't you just mind your own business?" Award

The Fivie goes to:
SHB rent-a-cop
Honestly, dude, I paid to get into the pits.

"Maybe the jokes about you got a little stale" Award

Even Turn 5 gets a little carried away sometimes. Occasionally, the writers do not know where to stop, and lines of comedy are crossed. This year’s winners probably did not need three solid weeks of coverage, but you have to admit, a cop driving a racecar is kind of funny.

The Fivie goes to:
Mike Collins, #2 Economy Modified and Roger Starling, #2s Economy Modified

Crew Chief of the Year

On the track, racing is about one man controlling one vehicle against several opponents of equal mindset. Off the track, racing is a team effort. Turn 5 would like to recognize a man who launched an unprecedented five car team, and guided two of his drivers to Top 10 finishes in the 2006 Pure Stock point standings.

The Fivie goes to:
Joe "Big Papa" Jackson

Track Worker of the Year

Racing would not be possible without the dozens of people who put in countless hours of labor, week-in and week-out, to give race fans the best chance to enjoy the spectacle of motorsports. Without the employees of Salina Highbanks Speedway, racing as we know it would cease to exist. Each year, Turn 5 recognizes the most outstanding track worker for dedication, sportsmanlike conduct, and dedication to racing.

The Fivie goes to:
Technical Inspector Chris "Eagle Eye" Peepers

Honorable Mention:
Beer Shack manager Herb "Skunky" Lager

Running Gag of the Year

Sometimes, a concept from Turn 5 catches on and becomes talk of the pits, grandstands, and message boards. For a story to win this award, it must be accepted much further than the author ever intended. This year’s Fivie Award winner took the cake in deciding fashion.

The Fivie goes to:
Team F4 Phantoms/Team McLain/Ford Team

Turn 5 Fan of the Year

This award is given to a person in the racing community who displays a complete disregard for the Turn 5 editors’ sense of humor, and a general disdain for the internet in general.

The Fivie goes to:
Track Owner Paula

Veteran of the Year

In a few days, Salina Highbanks Speedway will honor its 2006 rookies of the year. What a bunch of crap. Who cares about some first year racer who barely survived their first year of competition? Turn 5 recognizes a grizzled veteran who puts on a show for race fans each weekend. The award designates a racer who displays honor, sportsmanship, and dedication to racing. This year, Turn 5 honors the man who sparked the “success” of this very publication. His scandal crossed over into mainstream Highbanks culture, and nearly started a literal fire on the internet message boards.

The Fivie goes to:
Randy Frailey #51 Modified

The Turn 5 board of executives hopes you enjoyed the 2006 season of racing at Salina Highbanks Speedway. Do you feel left out of the awards ceremony? Are you upset about the results?

Well…

Better luck next year.

Racing in Bulk

2006-10-09T18:11:00.000-05:00

Turn 5
Season 1
Lap 14

"Sam to Buy Speedway?"
by: Ed Goodspeed
Salina Evening Post

SALINA- Rob Walton, Chairman of the Board of Directors of Wal-Mart, Inc. announced today that Wal-Mart is currently negotiating the purchase of Salina Highbanks Speedway. The announcement comes amidst a flurry of speculation surrounding the sale of the track.

Walton did not announce details of the negotiations, but did release some of Wal-Mart’s plans for the facility.

“We plan to re-name the track, ‘Sam’s Club International Speedway,’ and we hope the new name will usher in a new era of quality. We want to upgrade the facility to provide our customers with the best possible experience,” Walton said.

The proposed “upgrades” call for several changes to the rules and regulations at the racetrack.

Racers would only be able to use auto parts purchased at Wal-Mart or Sam’s Club stores, and would be required to leave the bar code and price tag stickers on all racing equipment.

“They are going to take my tools and gave me a nametag and one of those little guns that scans bar codes,” sighed four-star cashier Chris “Eagle Eye” Peepers. Under the previous owner, Peepers’ official title was technical inspector, or tech man.

“They will pay me minimum wage to scan parts all day, I don’t even get to measure anything. And what’s worse? They are going to replace me with a (expletive deleted) machine!” Peepers shouted. The potential owners plan to install several “self-checkout” machines in the technical inspection area, where racers can scan their own equipment, assuming they have a valid Sam’s Club membership card.

Peepers would not be the only track employee forced to change jobs. Herb "Skunky" Lager would also be affected.

"They want to close down the beer shack because they want the track to be more family friendly," Lager said, "So if the deal passes, I'm going to be the new greeter. And I'll also need to see your valid Sam's Club card."

Another proposed feature of Sam’s Club International Speedway is a series of speed bumps on each straightaway. According to Walton, the speed bumps will help reduce the risk of accidents.

Racers would not be the only group affected by change under the new owners. According to Walton, the speedway’s concession stands and gift shops will sell their wares in bulk in order to pass the retailer’s savings on to the customer.

“I don’t know how anyone could eat a trash bag of popcorn and drink 48 cans of pop in one night, but at prices this low, you’d be a fool to pass these deals up,” said concession worker Saul T. Pickles.

In order to shop at the new track, and watch the occasional car race, fans will be required to register for a Sam’s Club card.

If the deal clears, Sam’s Club International Raceway will be unveiled at the start of the 2007 racing season.

Feminist Firestorm

2006-09-20T15:09:00.000-05:00

Turn 5
Season 1
Lap 13

“Protesters Protest Recent Protests”

By Ed Goodspeed
Salina Evening Post
Wednesday, September 20, 2006

SALINA- A crowd of demonstrators at the pit entrance at Salina Highbanks Speedway remains vigilant tonight following three days of protesting.

Demonstrators carried signs, waved banners, and chanted their displeasure toward a recent outbreak of protest in the track’s technical inspection area. The demonstration sparked from several drivers expressing grievance with the set-up of veteran driver Lesa Vaughn’s pure stock division racecar.

The protestors chanted “Stop the protests! Stop the protests!” for over four hours straight today, and the demonstrations are expected to intensify as race day draws near.

“We’re protesting against the pure stock drivers who want to protest Lesa Vaughn’s car,” said organizer Martha Burk. “All of those pansies are just upset about losing to a woman. They can’t protest her equipment, because that’s discrimination!”

Burk says the protestors will continue to make their presence felt until the conclusion of Friday night’s race. The Mayes County Sheriff’s Office plans to have extra deputies on hand to ensure the safety of both racing teams and protestors.

“It seems like we’ve been clearing up incidents at the race track all year. I wish the pure stock drivers could settle their differences, but until that happens, we’ll be there to keep the peace,” Mayes County Sheriff Frank Cantey said.

Cantey noted the nature of the feminist protests have been completely legal thus far.
Tensions at the race track are expected to be on high for Friday night’s race. Track Owner Paula raised the track’s official terror level from yellow, “elevated” to orange “high,” in anticipation of the upcoming drivers’ meeting.

Cantey says his deputies will be on hand to escort technical inspector Chris “Eagle Eye” Peepers from the parking lot to the inspection area in order to protect him from angry protesters.

“We intend to keep our demonstration peaceful, so long as the track officials do the right thing and leave Lesa Vaughn and the rest of the female drivers alone,” Burk said.

Vaughn finished second in last week’s pure stock race.

Sponsorships

2006-09-01T16:06:00.000-05:00

Dear Readers,

Racing means a lot to many different people. To some, racing means the thrills of speed, competition, and making a machine perform better than it should. To others, racing is the satisfaction of turning wrenches and tuning like car like a surgeon might tune someone’s heart. To even more, watching a race is one of the finest experiences on earth. For a few hours each weekend, older race fans can feel like kids again, and kids can continue to feel like kids. I have tried to capture all of these aspects of racing here in Turn 5. I also happen to feel like I have passed over a crucial part of the racing experience...

Sponsorships!

Modern auto racing would not exist as we know it without sponsors. My mission is to provide fun entertainment to race fans from all walks of life by going beyond what happens on the track. I have been doing everyone who has ever enjoyed Turn 5 a huge disservice by omitting sponsors from the equation.

Turn 5 gets a constant stream of traffic every time I update it. I have decided to give sponsors an opportunity to partner with Turn 5.

This isn’t about money. I don’t plan to keep any money I make by selling sponsorships on Turn 5. The money will be used to put cars on the race track.

Questions you may have:

So if you aren’t going to keep the money, where is it going?
I plan to take any and all money I make selling sponsorships of Turn 5 and using it to...

dun, dun, dun!

Sponsor a racecar in 2008!

Excellent! A Turn 5 car?
Only if I make enough money selling sponsorships. Regardless of how much I make, the name “Turn 5” will appear on a racecar in some manner. If I get a ton of sponsors, I’ll buy space on somebody’s hood. If nobody sponsors Turn 5, I’ll buy a small square of space on someone’s rear bumper for a single race that no one in the crowd will be able to see.

Wait… if you sponsor the car, how will your sponsors benefit from sponsoring you?
All of Turn 5 viewers will see the sponsor’s name, logo, or likeness when they read Turn 5.

Couldn’t they just sponsor their own car?
Yes.

Whose car are you going to sponsor?
Maybe yours. That will be decided during phase 2 of this plan. I’d like to help an upstart yet underprivileged racing team.

How much will it cost to be a Turn 5 sponsor, and what types of ads can I buy?
We can negotiate. Pay $5, become the official sponsor of an issue (i.e. This week’s edition of Turn 5 is brought to you by John’s Port-a-John Service, the official portable toilet company of Turn 5. check out their website at www.portabletoilethumorisntveryfunny.com) Pay $10, I’ll put your banner on the sidebar for the rest of the season. Pay $100, I’ll let you write you write your own article.

Please note, these are just examples. Neither the prices of the sponsorships nor the nature of the ads are set in stone. Let’s just say, I’m a pretty agreeable guy and I’ll be more than fair. Sponsorships will be cheap.

What other benefits do sponsors get?
Since you’ll be paying by check, you can learn the Turn 5 editor’s secret identity!

Aren’t you the guy from Salina Racing Blog (http://brianwebster.blogspot.com)?
No.

Will Turn 5 still be funny?
That depends on whether or not you normally find it funny. I always get a kick out of watching drivers do interviews. If you listen closely, you never hear the word “car.” It’s always “the Dupont Automotive Finishes Hendrick Motorsports Chevrolet Monte Carlo,” or the “Penske Miller Light Dodge.” Due to my warped sense of humor, I crack up at this. I plan to use sponsors to make Turn 5 articles more realistic.

When I put together a Turn 5 article, I try to make the topic completely ridiculous, yet not completely impossible. Sponsorships will help me continue to walk this fine line. So if you like that brand of humor, think about sponsoring Turn 5.

You’re selling out!
That’s not a question.

Can racing teams/promoters sponsor Turn 5?
Heck yes.

How do I know you aren’t going to keep the money?
I’ll take pictures to prove my honesty.

How do I get started?
Email turn5salina@yahoo.com

-The Editor of Turn 5

Fire on Ice

2006-09-01T12:49:00.000-05:00

Turn 5
Season 1
Lap 12

“Oilers Sign Racecar Driver”
by: Reggie Dunlop
Central Hockey League Weekly
Friday, September 01, 2006

TULSA- The Tulsa Oilers took a non-traditional route to acquire some much needed muscle this week. General Manager Tommy Hanrahan announced today that Oilers plan to use a local racecar driver as a checking line specialist.

Brannon Holman, of Peggs, Oklahoma, is familiar for his racing exploits at Salina Highbanks Speedway. After a brawl at the track last week, Hanrahan contacted Holman about becoming an enforcer, what old time hockey fans would call a goon, for Tulsa.

“It was just amazing how he attacked this other driver,” Hanrahan said. “He’s got the kind of short fuse that could really ignite our hockey club.”

The Oilers had a record of 28-29-7 last seasons, good enough to finish last in the CHL’s Northwest Division. Hanrahan says many of those losses came by way of intimidation, a problem he hopes Holman will fix.

“My players won’t be afraid anymore. If somebody on the other team so much as looks at our guys wrong, we’ll sick Mr. Badwrench on ‘em.”

The Oilers front office leapt at the chance to market a local player. T-shirt sales have seen a 10% increase since the team launched a marketing campaign dubbing Holman “Mr. Badwrench.” Hockey sponsor Snap-On Tools is also on board for a “Brannon Holman ratchet night,” at an Oilers game next season.

While the front office has embraced Holman, some of his future teammates are not so sure about him.

“Who is this guy?” Oilers leading scorer Jim Dahl asked. “He gets in one fight, and suddenly he’s our new goon? I bet he can’t even skate. What a stupid publicity stunt, eh.”

According to Hanrahan, the factory stock driver will finish out the racing season while taking skating lessons during his free time.

“We missed the playoffs last season, and obviously we need to fix that. Hopefully Brannon Holman will be the guy who gives us back our edge,” Hanrahan said. “If it doesn’t work out, we’ll keep him around to drive the Zamboni.”

Laying the Smack Down

2006-08-28T18:58:00.001-05:00

Turn 5
Season 1
Lap 11

“WWE Scouts Racecar Driver”
by: Rob Hammerlock
Bodyslam Magazine
Monday, August 28, 2006

SALINA- As a defining moment developed last Friday under the lights at Salina Highbanks Speedway, scouts from World Wrestling Entertainment could not help but take notice. Some racing fans have taken to calling the incident, “the bump heard round the world.”

“We saw a display of humanity in its rawest form. The intensity, the crowd reaction, and the circus like atmosphere are things that you can’t coach an entertainer to do. It’s a magic gift they are born with,” WWE chairman Vince McMahon said. “Needless to say, we’re very interested in bringing that energy into the WWE.”

Inside sources report McMahon may offer a WWE contract to factory stock racer Brannon Holman after watching last Friday’s race, where Holman was involved in an altercation with pure stock driver Lee McLain.

“Here’s a guy who sees a friend get involved in a wreck, so he runs out on the track, and then tries to climb into another driver’s car to beat him up. He’d fit right in around here,” WWE talent scout Sgt. Slaughter said.

Other members of the wrestling community are not so eager to support Holman’s potential career change.

“What kind of skinny punk attacks a man while he’s strapped down to a seat? And I heard he had another guy hold him down. Let me tell you something, brother… you won’t be so tough after you taste my boot, and you feel these 24 inch pythons wrapped around your neck,” Hulk Hogan, one of Holman’s most outspoken critics, said.

“Let me tell you what we’re gonna do, brother. September 17, in Toronto, at Unforgiven, it’s gonna be Brannon Holman and that punk car inspector in a tag team match against Lee McLain and yours truly, the immortal Hulk Hogan. Only on Pay-Per-View. Whattcha gonna do, brother, when Hulkamania runs wild on you?” Hogan said.

Neither Holman nor McLain would answer phone calls about the prospect of Hulkamania running wild on anyone.

Slaughter remains skeptical about the proposed tag team match.

“We weren’t really interested in McLain, since he really didn’t do anything spectacular. This Holman guy is explosive, that’s what we’re looking for when we sign new talent,” Slaughter said.

WWE has not released the terms of Holman’s proposed wrestling contract.

5 Live Radars

2006-08-04T20:16:00.000-05:00

Turn 5
Season 1
Lap 10

"National Weather Service Investigates Wilhite"

by Gray Cloud
Oklahoma Storm Chasers Association Newsletter
Friday, August 4, 2006

SALINA- Meteorologists from all over Oklahoma are examining race car driver Fausten Wilhite's claims of an "F-5" grade tornado passing through rural Salina. Several meteorologists (all possessing the American Meteorological Society Seal of Approval) have been tracking Wilhite's racing career for the past month.

"We want to find out if racing fans are actually spotting an F5 tornado like they claim they are," Jim Giles said. Giles is the chief meteorologist at Tulsa-based KOTV Channel 6, a CBS affiliate station. "I don't want to offend Mr. Wilhite, but we've been tracking him on WARN Live Radar, and I just don't think he's moving fast enough to warrant an 'F5' classification."

According to the Fujita Scale of Tornado Intensity, an F5 tornado will produce wind speeds of 261 miles-per-hour to 318 mile-per-hour. Under the Fujita scale, an F5 is classified as an "Incredible Tornado."

"I've studied this car more than anybody, and I'm telling you, it's an F5," Wilhite said. Wilhite's claims are difficult to prove due to the ambiguous nature of the Fujita Scale. Tornadoes are measured by the damage they cause, not by their observed behaviors. The meteorological team feels the racecar’s initial classification may have been the result of inexperienced surveyors.

"The Fujita scale is very subjective, and so our group of meteorologists wanted to check out Mr. Wilhite's race car for ourselves," Giles said. "Based on the new data we have collected, we feel that 'F1' would be a much more suitable classification for Mr. Wilhite's car."

According to Giles, and F1 tornado can produce winds between 73 miles-per-hour and 112 miles-per-hour, which are much more realistic speeds for the veteran modified driver. Wilhite remains undaunted.

"I'm not changing the number on the car. I'll continue to drive the F5. If these weather geeks have a problem with that, I'll see their butts in court," Wilhite, whose racing operation is based in Tahlequah, said.

"I knew he wasn't that fast. I'm just glad somebody came out here and scientifically proved it so that we don't have to hear about how great Fausten's F5 is at driver's meetings," fellow Tahlequah driver Delaney Erickson said.

"We certainly didn't conduct this study to harm Mr. Wilhite or his racing career," Giles said. "We just want to make sure we have up to the minute information to help keep you and your loved ones safe when severe weather strikes Green Country."

The backlash from the Fujita investigation may cause Wilhite to take his racing career to another track, possibly Outlaw Motor Speedway in Muskogee. He currently occupied the seventh position in Salina's modified point standings.

(Photo Credit: bigmaceo of KRAP-TV, of Pryor, Oklahoma)

Racing Easy as A-B-C

2006-07-28T23:13:00.000-05:00

Turn 5
Season 1
Lap 9

"Jackson Racing Adds Three Drivers"

by Phillip Gasstank
Chouteau Morning Tribune
Saturday, July 29, 2006

CHOUTEAU- Car owner Joe "Big Papa" Jackson announced plans to expand his racing team following Friday night's action at Salina Highbanks Speedway.

The team will feature three more pure stock drivers. More importantly, for the Jacksons, racing remains a family affair. Big Papa Jackson says the decision to put more of his children behind the wheel stems from the success of son J.D. and daughter Emily.

"J.D. and Emily are both real smooth drivers, and they make it look easy as A-B-C, one-two-three," Big Papa Jackson said. "So I'm really excited about the idea of launching three more of my kids in some Motown racing machines."

Jackson family members Tito, Jermaine, and Marlon will join siblings J.D. and Emily in the pure stock division at Salina Highbanks. The family of drivers will compete under the banner of the newly formed Jackson Five Racing Team.

"I'd walked away from racing cars after our fallout in the 80's," said Tito, "but J.D. came to me and was all quoting our 1969 hit 'I want you back.' So now I'm back and ready to bring the funky sounds back to stock car racing."

The Jacksons announced the formation of the new racing team at a press conference in front of their Chouteau, Oklahoma garage.

"You won't be able to find a prouder papa on this earth right now," Big Papa Jackson said. "I'm very glad to expand the racing team and make our sound at Salina louder and funkier."

J.D. Jackson, currently ninth in Salina's pure stock points battle, echoed his father's enthusiasm for the new team.

"We're gonna hit that track and just beat it," J.D. said. "We're not gonna stop 'til we get enough, and hopefully it will just be a thriller for all the fans."

Emily Jackson, who currently occupies fourth place in the pure stock division, and is the only female member of the Jackson Five racing team, was unavailable for comment due to a wardrobe malfunction.

Pure stock competitor Russell McLain (currently 5th in point standings) remains unphased by the thought of three more Jacksons on the race track.

"They can send out all of the kids, their daddy, mom, even grandma. I don't really care. My jet powered Lincoln is ready to take on all of 'em," McLain said.

According to Big Papa Jackson, all five members of his newly formed team will be in action on Friday, August 4, at the Highbanks.

Hops and Barley

2006-07-20T17:24:00.000-05:00

Turn 5
Season 1
Lap 8

"Beer Sales Projected to Plummet"
by Oliver Suds
Green Country Beer Enthusiast Magazine
July 20, 2006

SALINA- Racing fans at Salina Highbanks Speedway are expected to "feel the thunder" without feeling a buzz when MLRA late model drivers roll into town this weekend. Concession officials say beer sales are generally lower on special nights of racing.

"We don't usually sell less beer on nights when a touring series comes to the track," Herb "Skunky" Lager, manager of Salina Highbanks' Beer Shack said. "I guess all the fans want to be a little more level headed for the special races."

Some race fans offer an explanation contrasting that of Lager.

"After I buy a ticket, I don't have money left over to afford beer," race fan Benny Hudson said. "Usually, it costs eight bucks to see the races on Friday, but on these special nights, they jack up admission prices to fifteen bucks. On a normal night, I'd use $8 to get in and then buy $8 worth of beer."

Hudson went on to add that he does not drink all of the beer by himself, but that he gets some help from his wife, Jenn.

"It's just our usual Friday night at the races," Jenn Hudson said. "We get something to eat over at Dairy Deal, then we drink a couple of beers each during the heat races. By the time the features are over, one of us will be okay to drive home."

"We won't have to worry about getting home safely this weekend," Benny added. "We're only going to be able to afford one beer. I guess we'll split it."

Despite the projected decrease, Beer Shack manager Lager remains optimistic. "I hate that ticket prices have to come between race fans and the crisp, clean, refreshing taste of an ice cold beer from the Highbanks' Beer Shack, but we're going to take extra special care of the fans who decide to buy a beer anyway," Lager said.

MLRA points leader Al Purkey hoped the bonus races would help fans forget their sobriety.

"We're going to put on a great show, there's no doubt in my mind," the Coffeyville, Kansas native said.

Fans, drunk and sober, can catch Purkey and the rest of MLRA late model drivers Friday night at Salina Highbanks Speedway.

Time Trials Speed Along

2006-07-14T07:12:00.000-05:00

Turn 5

Season 1

Lap 7

"Driver Free to Race"
by Lug Turner
Locust Grove Sunday democrat

PRYOR- Race car driver Mike Collins stood trial today following his arrest for an incident one week ago at Salina Highbanks Speedway. Judge David Justice found Collins not guilty of speeding, reckless driving, evading an officer, and resisting arrest. Justice upheld littering charges against the economy modified racer.

"We're just very relieved right now," said Collins' attorney C. William Crook. "We now hope that we won't have to deal with these type of shenanigans from Trooper Roger Starling again."

Starling, also an E-Mod driver at Salina Highbanks, charged Collins and three other race car drivers with a laundry list of crimes following last Friday night's race. Drivers Jeremy Ross, Mike Northrup, and Travis Montgomery all accepted plea bargains in order to continue their respective racing careers.

"I'm glad that I was able to prove in court that the 'ol Outlaw Mike Collins is not actually an outlaw. He's a really nice guy. He owes me a lot of money, but he's a nice guy," Crook said.

Despite Justice's ruling, Starling remains optimistic about his plan to "clean up the dirt" at the Salina race track.

"I stand by the decisions I made last week. At least the judge upheld the littering charge," Starling said.

Justice sentenced Collins to 50 hours of community service for littering, as the driver threw a handful of citation papers out the window of his car in what Starling called "the gesture of a true outlaw." Collins says he will serve his sentence at the very place of his arrest.

"I'm going to help people out at the track," Collins said.

Collins plans to meet with fans before and after the races to hand out pamphlets explaining the benefits of regular visits to a licensed dentist.

"The fans have given a lot to me over the years, so I'm ready to give back," Collins said.

(File photo of Collins' arrest courtesy of Bigmaceo, Locust Grove Sunday Democrat.)

Law & Order

2006-07-10T12:39:00.000-05:00

Turn 5
Season 1
Lap 6

“Collins' Lawyer Announces Defense Plan”

By Lug Turner
Locust Grove Sunday Democrat
Monday, July 10, 2006

PEGGS- Attorney C. William Crook announced his plan to acquit race car driver Mike Collins of five different charges relating to an incident at Salina Highbanks Speedway Friday night.

Crook says Oklahoma Highway Patrolman Roger Starling unfairly targeted Collins in a sting operation based upon Collins’ success as a race car driver. Both Starling and Collins are regular competitors in the race track’s economy modified division.

Collins is charged with speeding, reckless driving, evading an officer, resisting arrest, and littering. If convicted on all counts, he could face up to 90 days in jail and up to $1,000 in fines.

“These charges are just outrageous,” Crook said at a press conference in front of Collins’ garage. “We plan to fight this thing all the way, and I won’t rest until my client is cleared of all charges.”

Crook went on to explain the basis for his “unfair targeting” defense.

“My client is a very successful driver in the E-Mod division. He is the current points leader at Salina. That must anger Trooper Starling,” Crook said.

“Mr. Collins is also known as ‘the ol’ outlaw’ to some racing fans. It is our opinion that this nickname made him a target of the Oklahoma Highway Patrol. We intend to prove, in court, that the ‘outlaw’ nickname has nothing to do with Mr. Collins’ respect for state and federal laws. He’s not really an outlaw,” Crook said.

“If you ask me, it seems kind of fishy that the Trooper [Starling] would arrest the top four finishers of a feature race in which [Starling] also competed. I think he is just upset that their cars were faster,” Crook noted.

Starling ticketed three other economy modified drivers on Friday, July 7. Winner Jeremy Ross, runner up Mike Northrup, and fourth place driver Travis Montgomery were also ticked. According to Starling, the citations were all part of his, “clean up the dirt” campaign at the high-banked race track.

Collins declined to comment on the situation. For now, he is letting his lawyer do the talking. Starling remained optimistic about future arrests in Salina.

“Lots of guys drive way too fast in that area all the time. And I heard that one of the drivers is on steroids. That’s got to be illegal. I’m committed to cleaning up the trash,” Starling said.

Collins, who is free on bond, and Starling are both expected to compete in next Friday’s evening of racing at Salina. The futures of Ross, Northrup, and Montgomery are unknown at this time.

Stay with the LG Sunday Democrat as the story develops…

Photo Credit: bigmaceo of the Locust Grove Sunday Democrat (taken Friday, July 7, 2006)

Bad Boys, Bad Boys

2006-07-08T12:43:00.000-05:00

Turn 5
Season 1
Lap 5

"Four Drivers Handed Citations"

by Lug Turner
Locust Grove Sunday Democrat
Saturday, July 8, 2006

SALINA- Four economy modified drivers received citations for moving violations following Friday night's races at Salina Highbanks Speedway. Mike Collins, Travis Montgomery, Jeremy Ross, and Mike Northrup all received tickets for speeding, reckless driving, and evading an officer.

Collins, known as "the 'ol outlaw" in some racing circles, also received citations for littering and resisting arrest after he threw his first set of tickets out the window of his #2 economy modified car.

Oklahoma Highway Patrolman Roger Starling issued the citations as part of what he calls his "clean up the dirt" campaign.

"These guys come out here, week in and week out, and show no regard for traffic laws or respect for authority," Trooper Staring said.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Ross exclaimed. "I was in a great mood, I won the race, the car ran great. Then I pull off the track and 'boom' there's Starling blocking the road, and he gives me $423 worth of tickets."

Ross says he had to swerve to avoid the spike strips Starling had set up at the entrance to the pit area.

"I can't believe this," E-Mod points leader Mike Collins said. "I always thought we were allowed to drive fast as long as we're on the track, but then Rog' gives me a crapload of tickets."

Collins went on to explain his alleged littering violation.

"I thought Rog' was joking with me, so I crumpled the papers up and threw them out the window. Then he makes me get out of the car and pick them up, and then he writes me two more tickets. Unbelievable!"

“We were out there at the start of the feature, and I noticed that Starling had flashing lights and a siren on his car. I thought he was playing a prank on everybody. I am gonna lose my drivers license,” Montgomery said.

“I’m just trying to restore a little order to the E-mod division. It’s something I should have done a long time ago,” Starling said.

Starling says he will continue stopping speeders during next Friday’s race at Salina. The fate of the other four drivers now rests in the hands of the Oklahoma justice system.

Mouth of the South

2006-06-29T14:00:00.000-05:00

Turn 5
Season 1
Lap 4

Race Fans Wonder How Announcer Keeps Job

by Ed Goodspeed
Salina Evening Post
Thursday, June 29, 2006

SALINA- If you didn't know any better, you would swear somebody highjacked the microphone. The sounds coming from the speakers at Salina Highbanks Speedway have kept fans guessing this season.

"I often wonder what the track owner is paying the guy. Maybe he'd be a better announcer if they gave him more money," Jerry McNally, a nine-year-old racing fan said.

Other racing fans have more aggressive opinions of the nameless track announcer.

"I don't know who he is. He never will say," said racing fan Cletus Joad, of Sallisaw. "If I knew who he was, and if I wasn't so strung out on amphetamines, I'd go whoop him upside the head right now," Joad commented from his seat near the start/finish line.

Still, other fans want to give the new guy the benefit of the doubt.

"It's got to be harder than it looks, otherwise he wouldn't mess up drivers' names so much," race fan Betty Lou Simmons, of Salina, said. "Some of these boys have tough names, like Billy Frohnapfel, Mark Schafitzel, and Jesse Muhlhauser," Simmons said with perfect, non-regional diction.

"Yeah, but this guy screws up names like Mike Collins and Steve Smith, too," argued Simmons' fiancee Ted Deerkiller, of Kenwood.

While the track announcer seems to cause a great deal of confusion and frustration in the stands, Highbanks drivers do not seem bothered.

"We have a track announcer?" asked veteran driver Allen Frailey. "That's really neat. I wouldn't think anyone could hear him because of the noise created by thirty engines running wide open at the same time, but it's a really neat idea."

Highbanks fans can gear up for another earful at Friday night's Summer Sizzler event. Racing begins at 8 p.m.

Top Gun

2006-06-21T11:51:00.000-05:00

Turn 5
Season 1
Lap 3

McLain Protests Disqualification

by Phillip Gasstank
Chouteau Morning Tribune
Wednesday, June 21, 2006

CHOUTEAU- Pure stock driver Russell McLain announced today that he plans to protest his most recent disqualification at Salina Highbanks Speedway.

Following Friday night's race, technical inspectors ruled that McLain had made illegal modifications to his race car, and revoked his 11th place finish. McLain claims that the hotrod Lincoln's modifications are well within the rules of pure stock racing at Salina Highbanks Speedway.

"I'm not an expert in military aviation, but it appears Russell McLain has taken parts from an F-4 Phantom and attached them to his car," technical inspector Chris "Eagle Eye" Peepers said. "And it's not just sheet metal. I'm talking about guided missiles and a jet engine!"

"There is nothing in the rule book that says you can't run this type of engine," Russell McLain said. "I bought all of these parts legally, on surplus from the British Royal Air Force. I made no modifications to any of these parts, so they are still stock."

Russell McLain's brother, teammate, and current pure stock points leader Lee McLain added "Rule 18 lists specifications for Ford, GM, and Mopar engines, but it doesn't say anything about engines manufactured by Boeing or McDonnell-Douglas. We didn't know Russell's engine was illegal."

Russell McLain says he will not remove the aircraft parts from his car until he gets a ruling from Salina Highbanks officials.

"I had some trouble getting used to steering the car with the new engine's thrust capability, that's why I finished 11th. Once I get the feel for the handling though, I think I'll have a pretty fast race car," Russell McLain said.

"Russell's straightaway speed was incredible," said Vernon Vail, driver of the #400 pure stock car. "It was all I could do to keep up with him on the straightaways, but he had a heck of a time taking corners."

Both McLains will be in action at the next race at Salina, on Friday, June 23rd.

Lap 2

2006-06-18T14:57:00.000-05:00

Turn 5

Season 1

Lap 2

"Ol Sugar Bear" Has Medical Troubles

by Ed Goodspeed
Salina Evening Post
Sunday, June 18, 2006

WAGONER- Race car driver Brian "Sugar Bear" Scroggins may need to control his sweet tooth in the future. Earlier this week, doctors diagnosed the factory stock racer with type 2 diabetes.

"I didn't get the nickname 'Sugar Bear' for no reason. I have a major sweet tooth, but I guess all of that snacking has come back to take a bite out of me," said Scroggins. "My doctor recommended I change my diet. I don't really want to give up eating two pounds of candy a day, but if it will keep me healthy, I'll give it a shot."

Type 2 diabetes is the most common form of the disease. It occurs when the body does not produce enough insulin to process sugars. Unprocessed sugars in the bloodstream can cause numerous complications, including heart disease, blindness, nerve damage, and kidney failure.

"Type 2 diabetes is serious, but people with diabetes can live long, healthy, happy lives," Bob Sweet, media relations officer for the American Diabetes Association said.

"Despite having diabetes, many athletes go on to have great careers. The most recent example being Adam Morrison," Sweet said.

Morrison, a stand-out basketball player at Gonzaga University, is projected to be taken early in the first round of the 2006 NBA draft. "We certainly hope that Mr. Bear can set a good example for people who want to beat diabetes in the same manner as Mr. Morrison," Sweet said.

"This is certainly a bump in the road, but my family, fans, and other drivers are all offering my support through this difficult time," Scroggins said. "I just hate to have this come up during the season I've been having. I've really been doing good since I got rid of that Camaro."

"Ol Sugar Bear is a scrapper. I'm sure he'll continue to race," factory stock driver Jerry Wagner said. "I guess we'll have to get him a new nickname though."

The diagnosis could lead to a lucrative sponsorship deal for Scroggins. Reportedly, his racing team has nearly closed negotiotiations with artificial sweetener maker Nutrasweet. The deal would pay for Scroggins to get a new paint scheme on his #86 factory stock car featuring the Nutrasweet logo, as well as changing his nickname to "Nutrasweet Bear."

We're Going Green

2006-06-15T16:16:00.000-05:00

Turn 5

Season 1

Lap 1

Frailey Under Investigation

by Phillip Gasstank
Chouteau Morning Tribune
Thursday, June 15, 2006

CHOUTEAU- FBI Agents raided the garage of local race car driver Randy Frailey in the wee hours of the morning. Frailey has been named a "person of interest" in a local steroid investigation.

The investigations come a year after Frailey won the points championship in the modified division at Salina Highbanks Speedway. Frailey racked up such a streak of easy feature victories that Track Owner Paula had to place an old-fashioned bounty on the veteran driver in order to restore actual competition at her race track.

Frailey's success has not been as abundant during the 2006 campaign. Former highbanks star Jason Hughes feels Frailey's lack of runaway victories can be attributed to his decision to "cycle off the juice."

"A lot of guys pop yellowjackets or No-Doz to keep their energy up on race nights," Hughes said, "but Randy always took it to the extreme. Let's just say he took the term 'fuel injection' to a whole other level."

"I'm not sure how steroids could benefit a race car driver," commented modified driver Art Westbrook, "All of that muscle mass would make the driver heavier, and put more stress on the car to pull him around the track."

"That might be what is slowing him down. He's become too bulky for his own car," added modified driver Tate Cole.

Currently, Salina Highbanks Speedway does not have a drug testing policy. Track Owner Paula issued a statement from her secret lair in the press box.

"I do not feel that my race officials need to test for banned substances at this time," it read. "We will continue to check for illegal parts on the race cars themselves, but whatever drivers want to put in their bodies is strictly their business."

Investigators did not say whether or not Frailey would face criminal charges. He is expected to be in action at the Speedway's next scheduled race on Friday. Frailey is currently in second place in the modified division's 2006 points standings.