Laying the Smack Down

Turn 5
Season 1
Lap 11

“WWE Scouts Racecar Driver”
by: Rob Hammerlock
Bodyslam Magazine
Monday, August 28, 2006

SALINA- As a defining moment developed last Friday under the lights at Salina Highbanks Speedway, scouts from World Wrestling Entertainment could not help but take notice. Some racing fans have taken to calling the incident, “the bump heard round the world.”

“We saw a display of humanity in its rawest form. The intensity, the crowd reaction, and the circus like atmosphere are things that you can’t coach an entertainer to do. It’s a magic gift they are born with,” WWE chairman Vince McMahon said. “Needless to say, we’re very interested in bringing that energy into the WWE.”

Inside sources report McMahon may offer a WWE contract to factory stock racer Brannon Holman after watching last Friday’s race, where Holman was involved in an altercation with pure stock driver Lee McLain.

“Here’s a guy who sees a friend get involved in a wreck, so he runs out on the track, and then tries to climb into another driver’s car to beat him up. He’d fit right in around here,” WWE talent scout Sgt. Slaughter said.

Other members of the wrestling community are not so eager to support Holman’s potential career change.

“What kind of skinny punk attacks a man while he’s strapped down to a seat? And I heard he had another guy hold him down. Let me tell you something, brother… you won’t be so tough after you taste my boot, and you feel these 24 inch pythons wrapped around your neck,” Hulk Hogan, one of Holman’s most outspoken critics, said.

“Let me tell you what we’re gonna do, brother. September 17, in Toronto, at Unforgiven, it’s gonna be Brannon Holman and that punk car inspector in a tag team match against Lee McLain and yours truly, the immortal Hulk Hogan. Only on Pay-Per-View. Whattcha gonna do, brother, when Hulkamania runs wild on you?” Hogan said.

Neither Holman nor McLain would answer phone calls about the prospect of Hulkamania running wild on anyone.

Slaughter remains skeptical about the proposed tag team match.

“We weren’t really interested in McLain, since he really didn’t do anything spectacular. This Holman guy is explosive, that’s what we’re looking for when we sign new talent,” Slaughter said.

WWE has not released the terms of Holman’s proposed wrestling contract.